Saturday, September 04, 2010
Paul, the Octopus and Indian adveture
While the world was astounded by success of Paul the Octopus's predictions stunningly accurate predictions during the last world cup, another story unfolded soon after, yet untold. The story can now be told as the protagonists have now made peace and gone on with life, each one wiser for the experience.
As Paul's fame grew rapidly during the world cup, many in the world and India became impressed. This included some smart business groups. "Fortune telling is a big market across the world. If we incldue Paul in our repertoire, we can provide the best quality fortune telling product worldwide", said Mr. Mike Misfortune, CEO of President of the High Headed Musketeers Inc. "Paul can truly blend with our ancient oriental wisdom based guidance ot people for their future", opined Ms Foo-Li-She, Chairperson of Pre-Dict-Non-Sen-se Corporation, in Guang Dong. Nor did it escape attention of the clever Pandit Kuch Bhola Kuch Kiya of Jai-mere-family Ashram in Gadbadpur, in Northern India. "All we have to do is to teach him a bit if vedas and then he will bring us the billions", felt the holy swamiji.
All the above started making hectic preparations for attracting Paul. Paul, being a professional, decided to have a sound and contoversy free process of bidding. First a technical presentation was made by each party. Then the parties made a marketing presentation. It was here that Paul's sixth sense alerted him first to the unmatched potential in India. Whether it was marriage or divorce, filling nomination form for elections or going to party high command to plead cancelllation of a rival's ticket, sound predictionn formed a pre-process QA element. Whether it was starting on first day of job or planning to pick-pocket, Indians need to know what are chances of success beforehand. Whether it is the nervous debutant cricketer going out to open an innings or a bookie trying fix odds and fix matches, they all relied on the "trikal-gyanis" (all knowing gurus) to tell them whether to lift their left leg first or right, while starting their journey of the day. With such an advanced and mature user group, felt Paul, India is the natural place to immigrate and settle down. After all, one has to think of not just oneself, but also of future family generations. In India, he knew, his chidren were bound to follow him and succeed, as only in India are there so many role models of sons and daughters - all dutifully following their father's footsteps, all to serve the nation.
Once Paul came to this conclusion, he immediately called his manager and asked him to shortlist the Swamiji. While the Swamiji proposed a technical collaboratiobn agreement. Paul insisted on a majority stake. The merchant bankers, IKMU, filed an application with the FIPB. The FIPB refered the matter to GOM, asking it for defining the industry sector. The GOM started its discussions. The process till now had been very smooth and extremely businesslike and Paul even expressed pleasant surprise to his girlfriend and in a fit of extravagance, promised to take her for a holy dip in Ganges soon.
But as is well said, the best laid plans of men and optopus - oft go awry. It was lazy Sunday afternoon that buffalo Binnimol, after taking a well deserved nap in her pond, opened her favorite sports magazineto and very approvingly read about Paul. Here is someone who will resptore the glory back to animal kingdom all over the world, she thought. But it was an obscure sms which arrived at the same time on her Talkia mobile, reading which she suddenly sprang up. The sms mentioned about the impending entry of Paul to India. The quiet admiration for Paul was instantly replaced by righteous indignation for Paul, the Swamiji and the whole Indian burueacracy. Why should a foreign investment be allowed in animaldom matters she felt? She immediately ran to the Cantadevi, the eldest Cow in the town. They all moo-discussed. Cantadevi scoffed at Paul's claim to fame in India. Why, she said, my husband, the Bunglerdas the Bull, has an uncanny ability to spot oncoming rains and manages to vaniush every time it is going to pour. He also can predict when their offspring Custard Calf is about to ask for pocket money, and smartly washes his legs and tails off the demand even before it is made. Cantadevi suggested that they can form a company with Bunglerdas as chief scientist, as anyway, he is otherwise playing no useful function.
As the news spread, all hell broke loose in the Indian Animal-dom. Dagdu, the elephant, claimed that his wife can move her ears in a most elegant way and if she was trained, she could predict in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Guddu, the most feared street dog in Bigdogkuppam, openly challenged any one saying that his son, Chottu is the best qualified. His actions are so complicated, he said, they can be interpreted as any thing, thus making all predictions right. Dhunji the donkey claimed that this field should be reserved for them, in veiw of centuries of oppresion. Many political leaders supported him.
As Paul's fame grew rapidly during the world cup, many in the world and India became impressed. This included some smart business groups. "Fortune telling is a big market across the world. If we incldue Paul in our repertoire, we can provide the best quality fortune telling product worldwide", said Mr. Mike Misfortune, CEO of President of the High Headed Musketeers Inc. "Paul can truly blend with our ancient oriental wisdom based guidance ot people for their future", opined Ms Foo-Li-She, Chairperson of Pre-Dict-Non-Sen-se Corporation, in Guang Dong. Nor did it escape attention of the clever Pandit Kuch Bhola Kuch Kiya of Jai-mere-family Ashram in Gadbadpur, in Northern India. "All we have to do is to teach him a bit if vedas and then he will bring us the billions", felt the holy swamiji.
All the above started making hectic preparations for attracting Paul. Paul, being a professional, decided to have a sound and contoversy free process of bidding. First a technical presentation was made by each party. Then the parties made a marketing presentation. It was here that Paul's sixth sense alerted him first to the unmatched potential in India. Whether it was marriage or divorce, filling nomination form for elections or going to party high command to plead cancelllation of a rival's ticket, sound predictionn formed a pre-process QA element. Whether it was starting on first day of job or planning to pick-pocket, Indians need to know what are chances of success beforehand. Whether it is the nervous debutant cricketer going out to open an innings or a bookie trying fix odds and fix matches, they all relied on the "trikal-gyanis" (all knowing gurus) to tell them whether to lift their left leg first or right, while starting their journey of the day. With such an advanced and mature user group, felt Paul, India is the natural place to immigrate and settle down. After all, one has to think of not just oneself, but also of future family generations. In India, he knew, his chidren were bound to follow him and succeed, as only in India are there so many role models of sons and daughters - all dutifully following their father's footsteps, all to serve the nation.
Once Paul came to this conclusion, he immediately called his manager and asked him to shortlist the Swamiji. While the Swamiji proposed a technical collaboratiobn agreement. Paul insisted on a majority stake. The merchant bankers, IKMU, filed an application with the FIPB. The FIPB refered the matter to GOM, asking it for defining the industry sector. The GOM started its discussions. The process till now had been very smooth and extremely businesslike and Paul even expressed pleasant surprise to his girlfriend and in a fit of extravagance, promised to take her for a holy dip in Ganges soon.
But as is well said, the best laid plans of men and optopus - oft go awry. It was lazy Sunday afternoon that buffalo Binnimol, after taking a well deserved nap in her pond, opened her favorite sports magazineto and very approvingly read about Paul. Here is someone who will resptore the glory back to animal kingdom all over the world, she thought. But it was an obscure sms which arrived at the same time on her Talkia mobile, reading which she suddenly sprang up. The sms mentioned about the impending entry of Paul to India. The quiet admiration for Paul was instantly replaced by righteous indignation for Paul, the Swamiji and the whole Indian burueacracy. Why should a foreign investment be allowed in animaldom matters she felt? She immediately ran to the Cantadevi, the eldest Cow in the town. They all moo-discussed. Cantadevi scoffed at Paul's claim to fame in India. Why, she said, my husband, the Bunglerdas the Bull, has an uncanny ability to spot oncoming rains and manages to vaniush every time it is going to pour. He also can predict when their offspring Custard Calf is about to ask for pocket money, and smartly washes his legs and tails off the demand even before it is made. Cantadevi suggested that they can form a company with Bunglerdas as chief scientist, as anyway, he is otherwise playing no useful function.
As the news spread, all hell broke loose in the Indian Animal-dom. Dagdu, the elephant, claimed that his wife can move her ears in a most elegant way and if she was trained, she could predict in an aesthetically pleasing manner. Guddu, the most feared street dog in Bigdogkuppam, openly challenged any one saying that his son, Chottu is the best qualified. His actions are so complicated, he said, they can be interpreted as any thing, thus making all predictions right. Dhunji the donkey claimed that this field should be reserved for them, in veiw of centuries of oppresion. Many political leaders supported him.
The opposition to Paul became more and more vocal. Soon a bandh was called, protesting againt the imperialistic policies of the mankind. "We shall not be colonized by the animal-dom from the west", was the common chant at the huge procession on the bandh day. Today you allow one Paul and tomorrow you will have an army of Cats, Dogs, Jauguars, Pandas and what not, they felt. The core animal-dom steering group met to chart out strategy to nip the foreign invasion in the bud, or more aptly in Paul's acquarium. They decided unanimously that foreign invasion in an area in which India has rich traditions should not be tolerated. The government quickly buckled down to their pressure and passed a special ordinance.
Rest is history. Paul's dream of coming to India remained a pipe dream.
Rest is history. Paul's dream of coming to India remained a pipe dream.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Left, Nuclear deal and the Indian Muslims
Left's attempt to communalize the Nuclear is laughable, except for the fact that it represents its cold and calculated move to create a vote bank on basis of parochial politics and at the cost of Muslims community.
Several Muslim organizations have come out openly to denounce the Left, even while they have expressed grave reservation about the nuclear deal. It demonstrates two emerging trends. One, the muslim organizations and intelligensia are increasingly taking their independent assessment of facts, and they are not afraid to make distinctions about their opinions from supposedly standard opinions. Second, they are distancing themselves from the political parties who have tried to use them as vote banks for all these decades after independence. This is very welcome.
Several Muslim organizations have come out openly to denounce the Left, even while they have expressed grave reservation about the nuclear deal. It demonstrates two emerging trends. One, the muslim organizations and intelligensia are increasingly taking their independent assessment of facts, and they are not afraid to make distinctions about their opinions from supposedly standard opinions. Second, they are distancing themselves from the political parties who have tried to use them as vote banks for all these decades after independence. This is very welcome.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Energy prices, Nuclear energy, the Left and the Right
The drama over fuel prices is not getting linked to the nuclear energy as well. Further mix it with Left's penchant, or let as say "historical duty" to oppose anything American makes this a completely confusing brew for most readers and viewers.
The Left wants energy prices to be reduced by reduction in taxes. It also wants to tax "windfall profits" of private oil companies. They have questioned the authenticity of figures of oil companies' losses.
The Left's own camouflage is exposed. In case of taxes, the highest taxes are the sales tax. what is action taken by the Left state governments on that? Can they not be explicit about the figures involved, about possible impact on state finances if the sales tax is drastically reduced? Can the left also not provide analysis of how much "windfall tax" can be imposed as the private oil companies publish their figures quarterly? But is the Left really interested in providing figures or facts? Or is it merely using this as a means of propaganda?
On nuclear energy, the left does not want the deal simply because it was an initiative between India and US. The deal itself would allow India to get nuclear technology and fuel from any of the NSG countries and does not provide any preference to US. But that is not the Left's concern. Their true concern appears to be the increased goodwill which US may get in India due to such a deal and possible positive effect on Indo-US relations. The Left sees its own backers as those pathologically opposed to US. Of course this tribe is diminishing rapidly now and so their actual gain a future election be doubtful.
A more sinister agenda which many accuse the Left is that of following China's interest, without China itself having to do it. The past history of Left's foreign policy statements, unfortunately, squarely supports this inference. They did not support India during the war with China in 1962 and have not come out categorically on issues like India China border row, Sikkim etc. China itself has never claimed that it has any strategic relationship with Left, but if it really serious, it should publicly dissociate itself from the Left.
Will the PM sum up courage to stick to his stand? And will Congress sum up courage to back up its own Government against the Left? While it is difficult to say, the past suggests that Congress will find some ways to climb down in a face saving manner. The leadership structure in Congress, heavily dependent on the family, makes it difficult for rest of the leadership to take clear and bold stand on any issue, lest others go to Madam and get the stand reversed. Manmohan Singh, with all his reputation for integrity, has not publicly displayed boldness or courage to citizens of this country.
The BJP stand too is puzzling to say the least. They are talking with two tongues. While Mr. Advani occasionally shows courage by making statements which seem to come from his mind and heart, the party soon distances itself by taking routine opposing statements.
The next few days could be exciting and on the other hand, turn out to be just another damp squib, going by past spats between the Left and the Congress. Does the Congress not realize that every time they cow down to the CPM, a few more of the main stream voters, who are tired of the Left, swing to the BJP?
The Left wants energy prices to be reduced by reduction in taxes. It also wants to tax "windfall profits" of private oil companies. They have questioned the authenticity of figures of oil companies' losses.
The Left's own camouflage is exposed. In case of taxes, the highest taxes are the sales tax. what is action taken by the Left state governments on that? Can they not be explicit about the figures involved, about possible impact on state finances if the sales tax is drastically reduced? Can the left also not provide analysis of how much "windfall tax" can be imposed as the private oil companies publish their figures quarterly? But is the Left really interested in providing figures or facts? Or is it merely using this as a means of propaganda?
On nuclear energy, the left does not want the deal simply because it was an initiative between India and US. The deal itself would allow India to get nuclear technology and fuel from any of the NSG countries and does not provide any preference to US. But that is not the Left's concern. Their true concern appears to be the increased goodwill which US may get in India due to such a deal and possible positive effect on Indo-US relations. The Left sees its own backers as those pathologically opposed to US. Of course this tribe is diminishing rapidly now and so their actual gain a future election be doubtful.
A more sinister agenda which many accuse the Left is that of following China's interest, without China itself having to do it. The past history of Left's foreign policy statements, unfortunately, squarely supports this inference. They did not support India during the war with China in 1962 and have not come out categorically on issues like India China border row, Sikkim etc. China itself has never claimed that it has any strategic relationship with Left, but if it really serious, it should publicly dissociate itself from the Left.
Will the PM sum up courage to stick to his stand? And will Congress sum up courage to back up its own Government against the Left? While it is difficult to say, the past suggests that Congress will find some ways to climb down in a face saving manner. The leadership structure in Congress, heavily dependent on the family, makes it difficult for rest of the leadership to take clear and bold stand on any issue, lest others go to Madam and get the stand reversed. Manmohan Singh, with all his reputation for integrity, has not publicly displayed boldness or courage to citizens of this country.
The BJP stand too is puzzling to say the least. They are talking with two tongues. While Mr. Advani occasionally shows courage by making statements which seem to come from his mind and heart, the party soon distances itself by taking routine opposing statements.
The next few days could be exciting and on the other hand, turn out to be just another damp squib, going by past spats between the Left and the Congress. Does the Congress not realize that every time they cow down to the CPM, a few more of the main stream voters, who are tired of the Left, swing to the BJP?
Thursday, August 24, 2006
After a long while
The last blog was in 2005. Lots of changes have happened.
The Best: India continues to grow on several fronts. Hopefully, the next generation will also face the challenges and come out winners and also help others to win.
The worst: lots of people are seeing their future in killing/bombing others and lots of people are there to mislead this group, becoming bigger and bigger, into this belief. They perceive a sense of injustice meted out to their own and think this is the way to fight injustice.
The Best: India continues to grow on several fronts. Hopefully, the next generation will also face the challenges and come out winners and also help others to win.
The worst: lots of people are seeing their future in killing/bombing others and lots of people are there to mislead this group, becoming bigger and bigger, into this belief. They perceive a sense of injustice meted out to their own and think this is the way to fight injustice.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Nandan
Subject - test performancing extension to firefox for blogging
Introduction
No ideas really, just want to blog. Like several of our earthmates, who can talk on any subject for long and some of the outstanding ones who can talk on no subject for longer, I am making this attempt.
Let us see what happens...
Let us see what happens...
